As a sex and intimacy coach, I’m well aware that sometimes things arise that cool things off in the bedroom, dampening our passion and sexual connection.
Recently I asked David Finer, a guest blogger with a focus on men’s sexual health, to write a two-part series offering tips to help couples working with challenges such as premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction. Here’s part one!
How to Address Premature Ejaculation With Your Partner
by David Finer
Ladies, perhaps you’ve had the experience of your partner reaching a climax faster than you would like him to. Premature ejaculation is one of the most common sexual challenges that men can experience.
Though you love him deeply, it can be frustrating when you are barely feeling warmed up. You should know that if it bothers you, it is usually an even bigger deal for him. He can feel very insecure about himself and your relationship. Being able to sexually satisfy you is what gives him confidence, a sense of autonomy and a feeling of control with regard to his body.
What is Premature Ejaculation?
Simply put, Premature Ejaculation (PE) is a scenario where ejaculation happens sooner than either you or your man expected or wanted during sex. It is a common problem in the U.S. and the world at large. According to a survey done by the American Urological Association, approximately 1 in 3 men who are aged between 18 years to 59 years have PE problems.
Another interesting fact is that PE is more common in men who have Erectile Dysfunction (ED). ED is a condition in which a man has difficulty reaching or maintain an erection during lovemaking. Therefore, before you fight PE, you need to tackle ED first.
Nothing wrong with him!
The way that you respond or act toward his PE will affect his confidence, self-esteem, and sexual performance. Expressing judgment or disappointment may cause him to take it personally and will often make the situation worse. Good communication is vital in all aspects of relationships, and dealing with PE is no exception. Learning to communicate in a supportive and loving way will increase the potential for addressing this challenge and improve his ability to last longer.
In order to help him to get him back on track, you need to approach the situation in a caring and helpful way. First, show him, sincerely, that you are in it together and that he is not alone. Reassure him that he is sexy and that you are attracted to him. As simple as genuine reassurance may sound, it will help him feel more comfortable with his body. He needs to know that you desire him. If you make him feel good about himself, count that as a massive win.
Once you have cleared the first hurdle, it’s time to deal with the physical aspect. There are practices that you can introduce to him to enable him to last longer in bed. Next week, we will look at some of the best techniques and how you can implement them together. Be sure to look out for part 2.
Techniques used to deal with Premature Ejaculation
For the sake of what we cover here, I want you to gauge the level of his arousal on a scale of 1 to 10; 1 being no sexual arousal and 10 being the point at which he ejaculates (the point of no return). Ideally, you want him to maintain his level of arousal at 6-8. These techniques will help achieve that. Number 9 is the hot zone as he can escalate and find himself at the point of no return.
The best way to address PE is to find a method that is fun to do and doesn’t make sex feel awkward or stressful.
There are five effective methods you can use to improve your man’s longevity in bed:
- Switching positions.
- Going Slower When Needed
- PC Muscle training
- Edging training
- Adopting my breathing techniques
All these techniques are all about him controlling his sexual stimulation levels within 6-8 on our scale. All these techniques are proven. In part two, we’ll go into these five techniques in detail.
Hope you enjoyed part one of this series! Read part 2 here, and please feel free to share with anyone you know who may benefit from this information.
Are you working with PE or ED in your relationship? I’m here to help – contact me for a free consultation to see how sex coaching can help.
For more about David Finer, or to read more of his writing about men’s sexual health, visit him at http://www.vibratinglove.com.