Edging for women – what is it, and what can it do for you?
It may sound a bit like (delicious) torture, but edging, the practice of bringing yourself just to the brink of orgasm and then stopping yourself (yes, you read that correctly) can make for longer, more intense, explosive orgasms when you finally do let go. But, it does take some practice to get yourself to the edge without going over.
Along with more intense orgasms, learning how to “edge” can help you gain sexual self-awareness and develop a deeper familiarity with your body’s own arousal cycles. This makes for greater self-loving, and can really deepen your connection with a partner too.
How to live on the edge:
Start out by yourself since it requires a little skill and if you’re not already intimately familiar with your body’s arousal cycles, you’ll need more time to know when to stop and start again. If you can climax without them, it may be better to leave the toys on the side to begin with (you’ll want as much control as possible) but if you need a vibrator, use one with several settings so you can easily control the speed and pressure.
First, you’ll want to make the time and space for uninterrupted self-care so you can really pay attention. To begin, think about your arousal on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being orgasm. As you masturbate, allow yourself to get to maybe a 7 or 8 before backing off, and then attempt the climb again. This will take practice, be patient with yourself. Some women may lose their arousal altogether if stimulation stops, so learning to edge means finding both your lower and your upper “edges”. Take note of what’s happening in your body and… if at first you don’t succeed… try, try again! Next time, you’ll have a better sense of the shifts in your arousal cycle.
Edging with a partner can be a little more challenging, which is why I suggest starting by yourself first. Bringing sexual self-awareness to a partnered experience is important but it’s a lot easier to get lost in the moment when you’re with someone else. If you decide to try edging together, you may want to back down even lower at a 6-7 before attempting to build up to climax again. You’ll also have better success at the beginning if you choose positions where you have more control.
If you’re curious about edging, it’s a practice clients I help client learn to explore since it has so many amazing health benefits (next week, we’ll talk about the benefits of edging for men). Whether you’re flying solo or wanting to bring this into a partnered experience, I’m happy to work with you and offer tips on how to get more in tune with your own arousal cycles. Learning sexual self-awareness is an advanced practice, and I’m here to help.