What’s the G-Spot?
Likely, the G-Spot has been known for centuries, but it’s named after gynecologist Ernst Gräfenberg. Part of the clitoral network, it’s more of an area than a specific “spot” and can be found on the upper front wall of the vagina. For many women it’s a highly sensitive area which when stimulated can create strong feelings of arousal and turn-on.
Locating and stimulating the G-Spot can be done alone or with a partner. Something that’s not often mentioned is that it doesn’t always immediately feel good or, that for some, it’s such an unusual sensation that it may take some getting used to before it really becomes pleasurable. Some women feel a lot, some very little when the G-Spot area is stimulated and this may or may not change. There’s no normal, it’s just what’s normal to your body and your anatomy. Everyone is different! Generally, it’s easier to locate the G-Spot if a woman is already somewhat aroused. Feeling safe and relaxed is important, as it having time to really explore and experience the process. Some women may feel highly emotional or tearful. Some women feel like they have to pee, which can make them uncomfortable or self-conscious (more on this in a minute), but with time and care, awakening the G-Spot can mean an opportunity to explore exciting new ways of self-pleasure and lovemaking.
Stimulating the G-Spot can result in female ejaculation, the release of fluid either inwardly or outwardly. It may be just a little or a large amount. Sometimes it’s outward, also known as “squirting,” or it could be inwards without signs of outward squirting but instead a sensation of noticeably increased wetness. Since women ejaculate through the urethra, this can contribute to the “needing to pee” sensation which can sometimes be difficult to work through at first – the pleasure point lies past this, though, so again, it’s important to be in a safe place where you can relax (and perhaps, have a towel or two underneath you). In Neo-Tantra, the fluid released is known as Amrita, which translates to “nectar of the gods”. It is also believed that women can hold trauma and shame in this area and that stimulating it can promote its release and healing. Many women have described G-Spot orgasms are powerful, energizing, and even transformative.
The “Male G-Spot”
The “male G-Spot”, the prostate, is a walnut-sized gland nestled between the bladder and the penis, about two inches into the rectum. In Neo-Tantric thought, the prostate is considered the man’s emotional center. Locating and massaging it can feel vulnerable for many men. Feeling safe and relaxed is important as initially, prostate massage may bring on a similar “need to pee” sensation and an emotional release similarly to certain women. Prostate stimulation may create an ejaculation, sometimes without any direct genital stimulation of the penis at all. Stimulating the prostate gland has many physical health benefits, such as reducing the risk of cancer, helping prevent bladder infections, and can make for stronger erections and orgasms. The clitoris has more than 8000 nerve endings and the prostate has almost as many.
Next week I’ll talk more about ways to find and stimulate the male and female G-Spots (lube is your best friend!). I’m also happy to work with you via phone, Skype or in person if you need advice or suggestions on female or male G-Spot massage techniques or toys (you can also check out my resources page for some of my recommended personal lubricants and toys). I am sexual-trauma informed, kink-friendly and aware as well as a certified Urban Tantra teacher. Finding your G-Spot and learning what feels good to you sexually can increase your capacity for pleasure exponentially!