For so many of us, the holiday season can potentially be a very stressful and busy time. Holiday parties, looking for the perfect gift for everyone on your list, long distance travel, family, the list goes on and on…
However, winter, with its long, dark cozy nights, also offers the perfect opportunity to take some time to give yourself a gift too. The gift of self-pleasure!
Self-pleasure = Self-care
We all know the importance of self-care, and self-pleasure is another wonderful way we can nurture ourselves. Science-based research has shown that regular self-care – including self-pleasure – reduces stress, releases tension, helps you relax, improves sleep, boosts your mood, elevates self-esteem and body image, increases longevity, and so much more!
Think “getting to know” instead of “getting off”
Our desires grow and evolve over time, as do our pleasure preferences and sexual needs. Therefore, what felt really good last week – as far as touch, pace, sensation – may not be what you’re in the mood for today. That’s why it’s important to regularly “check-in” with yourself and stay connected to what your body wants – taking time to discover what kinds of pleasure feel good to you in that given moment.
Self-pleasure need not always be about orgasm. In fact, I encourage you to take the pressure off defaulting to goal-oriented touch, instead simply explore your body for the sheer pleasure of it. Be open, be curious, and focus on sensation rather than reaching the finish line.
Masturbation + reaching climax is just one of the wonderful possibilities on your pleasure menu. Take your time, connect with yourself, explore your body and notice how many different ways you can experience pleasure and broaden your personal self-pleasure menu.
Find your arousal “on” switch:
Notice what activates your senses and what turns you on. Perhaps a change in the lighting to those holiday fairy lights or candles, a warm fireplace, or even completely dark. Maybe it’s relaxing in a comfortable bed with fresh sheets, or sheets of a different fabric like silk or satin, perhaps switching rooms to one you don’t normally play in. Chilling to your favorite music, lighting incense, diffusing some essential oils, reading a romance novel, smelling your favorite flower, wearing something sexy or special, enjoying a relaxing beverage or delicious nibble of that dark chocolate you love, practicing yoga, taking a relaxing bubble bath, etc.
Discover what lights you up and awakens your senses, helping your mind let go, your shoulders release their tension and brings a satisfied smile to your lips. Surround yourself with the things that enhance your mood and that are conducive to your personal experience of self-pleasure.
Explore
Once you’ve created your nurturing environment, start to explore your body without any goal beyond the intention of curious exploration. This is your opportunity to have fun with yourself, celebrate your body, and learn how to please yourself. Remember to listen to your body, and if something isn’t feeling like what you need in that moment, change it up.
Another benefit: the more familiar you become with exploring and understanding your own body, the more comfortable you will be at sharing your wants and needs with your partner – gaining confidence in communicating what brings you pleasure.
Happy Holidays!
Remember to take some time this season to celebrate YOU!