Menopause is a time of transition in a woman’s life and brings forth a season of maturity and newness, and, likely, a few challenges. Everyone goes through it on their own timeline and effects can vary greatly. While some may experience challenges sexually, with some gentle and helpful adjustments, you just might find yourself thriving.
Menopause is defined plainly as the ceasing of your menstrual cycle. The timeframe around these changes is called perimenopause, which usually begins in your 30’s and 40’s. Its cause is a gradual drop in specific sex hormones, like estrogen and progesterone.This drop makes reproduction less and less likely. When you enter this phase of life, you might notice your periods changing, your cycle length shortening, or a plethora of other differences. Once your period has ceased for a year, you’re in menopause! The most important thing during this life stage is to know that change, right now, is normal. Expect it. Your body is doing what it is supposed to do. If any of the physical changes you are experiencing worry you, allow your gynecologist to field your concerns. And when it comes to your sexual well-being, I’m happy to help and offer coaching and encouragement as you step into your next season of life (click here to contact me).
What to Look Forward to
When we think about menopause, we often focus more on the most challenging aspects that some folks experience. So here’s a little list of some things to look forward to!
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- Buh-bye periods! Need I say more? Bleeding, cramping, and sanitary products will all be a thing of the past.
- No more PMS… leaving periods behind means leaving any and all of those pre-menstrual issues that spring up every month.
- Sex without pregnancy concerns. If you’re in a heterosexual relationship the worry of unwanted pregnancies can be a definite stress. Not having to contend with birth control is a major benefit of menopause. The freedom to enjoy sex without pregnancy concerns can benefit your partner too!
- A new lease on life. As time goes by, the average lifespan is increasing. Post-menopausal women often have half of their lives left to live. It’s a great time to evaluate your goals, values, and relationships.
Buffering the Challenges
The list of potential menopausal hassles can seem ominous. Your needs regarding your sexual health during this season will likely shift around a bit due to the effects of hormonal changes. One of the most commonly recognized physical symptoms, hot flashes, can be uncomfortable and inconvenient. Symptoms like these can often be mitigated by taking bio-identical hormones or other natural supplements your doctor or alternative health practitioner might recommend.
Some health professionals are recommending Bonafide products, especially for those who are not comfortable with hormone therapy or prefer to try a more natural route to relief. Bonafide makes several different hormone-free products to help women throughout their reproductive cycles, including products formulated to relieve hot flashes and mood swings, stimulate libido and alleviate vaginal dryness discomfort.
Dryness and thinning of the vaginal wall during menopause can cause pain during penetrative sex. Finding the right lubricant can be a game-changer. Foria and Quim, along with many other companies, offer amazing lubricants and vaginal suppositories, some with cbd that can make penetrative sex feel more comfortable and pleasurable again. Sex is so much more than penetration. Remember that outercourse is sex too! Take your time exploring other forms of sexual pleasure and activities. See my previous blog on foreplay for some good ideas, and keep the focus on pleasure rather than penetration, performance, or the goal of orgasm.
If your libido has taken a downturn, now is a great time to learn new ways to connect to your desire. Build your own sexual simmer menu, by creating a list of ways to tap into your sexuality and cultivate your sense of erotic aliveness. Fill it with activities that stimulate your sensuality, joy, and senses. Stay connected, or reconnect, to your individuality. Attending to your own sexual health and maintaining that connection, by default, helps your other connections. If you are partnered, remember to be open and honest with them about how you are feeling, what feels good, and how they might be able to help you.
You might experience psychological changes such as brain fog, insomnia, or not quite feeling like yourself. Even depression might rear its head. Supplements can curb these effects as well, but be sure to talk to your doctor before trying new treatments for your mental health. Facing these difficulties can be hard if you’re not prepared for them, so pay attention and monitor changes in your moods and sense of well-being. Remember to be honest and open about your mental health so that if difficult changes occur, you can seek help if you want or need it.
Embrace the Change
Your sexuality is ever-evolving. Menopause is just a different chapter to get acquainted with. Try to embrace the change, and see it as a chance to reevaluate and discover all that is available for you, at this time in your life. There’s a learning curve that’s different for everyone, so have patience and understanding with yourself. Menopause may be the end of reproduction, but it doesn’t have to be the end of sex and intimacy. You may be surprised at how liberating life-affirming this season can be!
Please get in touch if you have further questions or you’d like some help navigating through this significant life change. I’m here to help!