I think I might be gay. Now what?
It takes courage to explore your sexuality, and sometimes I see clients who begin exploring theirs later in life – questioning if, perhaps, they might be gay or lesbian, or find they’re bi-curious and don’t know how to go about learning more in a way that’s safe, educational and pleasurable.
Navigating those waters can feel daunting at first but it doesn’t have to be. Sex coaching can help with a number of challenges and concerns that may arise. How do I come out? How do I get myself out there? What if I’m bisexual and I’m married? how do I talk to my spouse and family? How do gay people have sex, anyway? I help individuals and couples learn to explore in a way that is informed, healthy and supportive because everyone deserves to enjoy the sex life that’s authentically aligned with who they are.
Charlotte and Chris Rose, sex educators who call themselves The Pleasure Mechanics, run a podcast called Speaking of Sex – they’ve covered literally hundreds of topics so far, including this one, and there’s some fantastic, practical advice to be found here. Their podcasts on bisexuality discuss marriage, male bisexuality, and the difference between being bisexual, bi-curious, or just fantasizing, as well as how to incorporate bi-curiosity into a relationship. Their podcast Lesbian Sex Tips for Everybody is also highly informative (yes, for everyone).
I think my child is gay. Now what?
It’s also important to help our kids develop a healthy and safe attitude about sex and to make sure they have the resources they need to understand their sexual feelings without shame (this goes for adults, too – shame is one of the most destructive and prevalent feelings that can happen to folks with regard to sex).
Being gay, lesbian or bisexual is totally normal, and many kids realize they’re not straight at a very young age but don’t feel safe or comfortable talking about it. Cath Hakanson, author of The Sex Education Answer Book: By the Age Responses to Tough Questions Kids Ask Parents about Sex, recently recommended these printouts created by Advocates4Youth, a non-profit dedicated solely to youth sexual health and information. Written by and for young gay, lesbian and bisexual youth, these pamphlets speak directly to other young people, asking and answering questions like “Who should I Tell?,” “How do I learn to like myself?” and “How do I find other women like me?”
How can sex coaching help?
Learning to embrace your sexuality and your sexual identity isn’t always easy, but sex and intimacy coaching can be a tremendous source of support and insight. Sex coaching will help support you to love and appreciate your body, regardless of age, weight or size; help you open up to what sexually works for YOU, regardless of what you think works for others; provide you with tools and education to expand your sexual repertoire; and help you develop the skills to overcome whatever inhibits you from having the sex life that fulfills you and makes you happy. I’m here to help, so if you think you might be gay, get in touch, and let’s talk.