Happy New Year 2022!
Does the beginning of a new year make you want to change things up? It’s long been a popular tradition to find a fresh start appealing. New year, new you, right? That may work for some of us and for others, it feels more like wherever you go…there you are!—the good and the challenging. What if we changed our outlook on self-improvement?
Intentions Instead of Resolutions
Having new goals for yourself is great! And a New Year is a great metaphor for personal beginnings. Resolutions have long been a popular way to change things up for the better, but how long do resolutions usually last? Maybe the novelty carries you for a while, but it’s also common for resolutions to last a mere couple of weeks before we drop or forget about them. Are you trying to change too many things at once? Is your resolution realistic? Is it a “want” or a “should”? Do you have support or accountability? And how does your self-esteem fare through it all? Ultimately, resolutions address self-improvement from a problem-focused mindset.
Set New Year’s intentions instead. If you look in the mirror and you feel critical about your body, instead of immediately deciding you “should” drop a few pounds and picking the new diet to achieve that with, try creating an intention around body appreciation and acceptance. For example, “I want to work on accepting and loving my body at whatever size it is, regardless of whether I want to make positive health changes such as getting in shape or losing some weight or not”. This gives you the opportunity to offer yourself the kindness, acceptance and love that you (and your amazing body) deserve.
True and lasting “self-improvement” begins with self-acceptance. You deserve love and acceptance simply because you exist.
Part of the process of self-acceptance is noticing and experiencing new ways you can love yourself better. Tell yourself that you deserve to treat yourself better. For example, if your mental health takes a toll when your house is messy, but you struggle to clean it, acknowledge that you deserve a clean space. Your intentions could be centered around self-acceptance, creativity mental health, physical health, sexual health and cultivating a space for joy in your life.
- Instead of losing weight, reconsider and reframe your relationship with your body and how you communicate (are you kind? are you critical?) with yourself around body image?
- Instead of taking sweets out of your diet, add healthy snacks.
- Instead or trying to “fix” your sexual “performance”, learn to appreciate the pleasure your body is available or capable of right now while setting an intention to keep learning and expanding your sexual lexicon without “shoulds”.
- Instead of pushing yourself to change out of fear, acknowledge that you are worthy of self care and begin to act accordingly towards yourself.
Instead of driving ourselves to be better through guilt, shame and societal standards that promote feelings of inadequacy, let’s approach our intentions with radical self-love and acceptance.
You deserve to feel accepted just as you are. And, you’ll reep the sexual benefits that come with practicing radical self love and owning what you want and deserve! Let’s cultivate healthier, kinder and more appreciative perspectives about ourselves and our loved ones.
I’m here to help you on your journey if you need support!