Age has no limits when it comes to sex and intimacy. Although our desires may evolve as we grow older, age does not determine the potential for a satisfying sex life.
Love and Connection:
The need for love and connection are innate and constant throughout life. Engaging in sexual activity with a partner allows us to express ourselves intimately and brings about both psychological and physical benefits. Research is continuously being conducted on this topic, consistently revealing that a healthy sex life contributes to overall well-being and even longevity. (see this previous blog on the life-extending power of sex). Experiencing your sensuality can lower stress, activate your feel-good hormones, and reinforce bonding during a time when many of us feel isolated. If dating feels challenging at the moment (as it does for many, regardless of age), try expanding your search online with sites like Silversingles.com or peruse this list to find a platform that suits you.
Whether you’re single or a couple entering your golden years, you have gained wisdom, accumulated life experiences, and a deep understanding of yourself. Embracing this new phase of life allows you to continue exploring fresh sexual and intimate experiences, free from the worry of unintended pregnancies.
From Performance to Pleasure:
Life has taught us that the journey itself is precious, and this holds true for sex as well. Shift your focus to your pleasure instead of your performance. Let go of the belief that you need to “get somewhere”. You can still flirt, seduce with dirty talk, snuggle and spoon, make out, touch and be touched, use your hands, your mouth or even adult toys. It’s common and expectable that intercourse and orgasms may not always be reliable or expected–that’s normal! The body may not always respond in the way we want it to but don’t let that deter you. The key to great sex is about experiencing pleasure and deep connection; enjoy yourself, enjoy your partner and most importantly have fun!
Resolving Common Challenges
With age, come certain challenges which may impact our usual sexual experiences.
By staying open and curious we can adapt to them and create new ways of experiencing pleasure.
Vaginal dryness
As we age, the vaginal canal can shorten, narrow, and/or stiffen–again, making penetrative sex challenging or painful. Vaginal dryness, for instance, can make penetration difficult or uncomfortable, but it can often be effectively managed with the use of good lubricants and Hyaluronic Acid suppositories, including cannabis-infused ones if preferred. Having an open and flexible mindset about what sex can look like for you is important. Discovering and understanding your changing body, what feels good, and what doesn’t is essential. Remember that sex is not defined by one act. How you choose to be physically intimate with your partner(s) is something that can be tailored specifically to each of your needs and desires.
Erectile Variability:
Erectile dysfunction/disappointment is also common as you age. If this is happening to you, contact your doctor to talk about it. There are numerous medications available that can aid in achieving and sustaining an erection. Stay open and flexible around what sex looks like for you and if an erection is not available, what else can you do that feels good? (if you want more information on this topic, check this past blog).
Joint pain and mobility
Joint pain and arthritis are also widespread challenges in the senior population that can move sex to the back burner. Maintaining exercise and bodily health, as well as an open conversation with your doctor about pain management treatment options can contribute to a healthier sex life. Additionally, finding comfortable positions or using ergonomic sex furniture can make a significant difference.
Toys
Don’t underestimate the power of good toys. The right toy can add new sensation, excitement and anticipation to your experiences. Do some online research on what you’re looking for, what would work best for you and/or your partner’s body, or even go to a sex toy shop for advice and guidance. See my resources page for some recommendations!
Professional coaching and support:
If you encounter challenges that you find difficult to navigate independently, don’t hesitate to seek support. Sex Therapy or Sex Coaching options are available to assist you in enhancing your sexual well-being. Contact me here if you are interested in regular sessions or a private intensive (practical, fun, in-depth and concentrated 2-3 days type of coaching). Click here for more information on Couples private intensives.
Ultimately, remember that with an open mind, communication, and a willingness to adapt, fulfilling and enjoyable senior sex is yours to enjoy!