Deepen your Connection
Finding time to make love can be tough with a new baby or kids in the house, in addition, learning how to switch gears from active “parent” to responsive “lovers” and back can be a challenge. Changes in sexual desire and interest are common for men and women during major life changes – and raising kids is definitely an adjustment!
New moms may not feel as sexual as they did in the past. Dad may be feeling left out and missing that sexual connection with his partner, but doesn’t want to pressure her or come across as inconsiderate or needy.
Your sexual connection to yourself and to your partner is always evolving. Support each other in this time and remember that changes in your sex life are natural and happen to us all at one time or another in long term relationships. This is an opportunity to grow in your relationship and build an even deeper connection. Letting go of the belief that sex needs to look a certain way and being open to what is possible now is going to help bring creativity into your connection and what kind of touch you are open to.
Communicate Desire
It’s important to talk to each other, without judgment, about how you both feel and your current needs and desires. When the kids are asleep, uncork a bottle of wine or sip on some relaxing tea, dim the lights, light some candles and indulge in good old-fashioned conversation reminiscent of your dating days. Even if it’s simply cuddling and dozing off together on the couch, the important thing is that you’re together, bonding and connecting. Listen to each other and ask what you can do for your partner that would feel good to them.
Redefine Sex and Intimacy
This is the perfect time to re-explore other types of intimacy that may feel better for you in this moment. Flirting, non-sexual relaxing touch, sensual massage, mutual masturbation, oral sex, vibrators – expand your sexual menu and allow yourself to explore what you’re open to and what you’re not in the mood for at this time.
If intercourse is proving to be more pain than pleasure for the new mom, there are many other ways for you to both feel pleasure and sensual or sexual satisfaction. Nearly 60 percent of the women in the BabyCenter sex survey said touching, hugging, stroking, and kissing help to get them in the mood. And some were surprised to find that watching their partner masturbate and self-satisfy was actually quite a turn on for them! Speaking of…
Remember the Awesome art of Masturbation
There is no better way to understand what turns you on and feels good to your body than your self-pleasure practice. Keeping this pleasure practice alive throughout your lifetime contributes on so many levels to your sexual health and well being.
This valuable gift to yourself may just be the perfect one this Father’s Day!