What is Surrogate Partner Therapy?
Surrogate Partner Therapy (SPT) is a form of experiential hands-on therapy facilitated by a professionally-trained caring practitioner (a surrogate partner) who works with clients encountering challenges with sexuality and intimacy. The surrogate works in conjunction with a therapeutic professional. I refer clients to surrogate partners who are members of the International Professional Surrogates Association (IPSA).
The sex surrogate uses physical touch exercises known as sensate touch (also called sensate focus), a sex therapy technique and body exploration that helps people learn to relax, gain confidence and skills, and enjoy their sensual experiences.
Who should see a sex surrogate?
In my practice, certain clients can really benefit from the more intimate, hands-on work that a surrogate partner has to offer, especially people with very little sexual practice, virgins, or those who would like to gain more skills and experience in order to feel better prepared to enter the dating world. The surrogate partner helps clients develop confidence, skills, and tools on an emotional, relational and physical level. Surrogates are typically male or female and often work with clients of all genders.
If you’re struggling with social-sexual dysfunction, premature ejaculation, unresolved childhood issues, struggles with intimacy, difficulty achieving orgasm, painful sex or a history of sexual trauma, you may benefit from surrogate partner therapy.
How do I find a sex surrogate?
Surrogate Partner Therapy only takes place as a three-part team: therapist, surrogate and client. Sometimes the surrogate calls me in order to complete the therapeutic trio. Sometimes, I reach out to a surrogate. The client will typically alternate sessions between the therapist and the surrogate partner. Together, the surrogate partner and I work out and evaluate each client’s process and decide what the next steps are, working together for the benefit of the client’s progress and learning.
Sometimes clients reach out to me because they’ve been referred to me by a surrogate partner and they are looking for support as they begin Surrogate Partner Therapy. Working with a sex surrogate is a very intimate and experiential process which requires the support of a therapist for both the client and the surrogate partner in order to process what’s happening in the sessions and evaluate progress.
The client and the surrogate are in a professional, therapeutic relationship — whilst not a traditionally romantic relationship, it is close, affectionate, sensual, sexual and intimacy-building. I offer a safe place for you to process your feelings while working with your surrogate partner.
Is Surrogate Partner Therapy legal?
Surrogate Partner Therapy was originally developed by researchers Masters and Johnson in 1970 – it has a clear and defined structure and process. The International Professional Surrogates Association (IPSA) has developed a code of ethics. Full members of IPSA are committed to honoring this code of ethics, and have received professional training and achieved professional competency.
Surrogate partner therapy is not prostitution. Clients working with surrogate partners are seeking certified, professional, and educational help.
Is Surrogate Partner Therapy right for me?
Sexual surrogacy can be extremely helpful for certain people but is not necessarily recommended for everyone seeking help with their sexuality. Sexological bodywork, sex coaching, or sex (talk) therapy are good places to begin since working with a sex surrogate requires a professional referral.
If you have questions about how working with a surrogate partner might help you in the development of your sexuality, or if you’re interested in sex coaching or sexological bodywork please get in touch for a complimentary consultation. On your journey towards realizing your goals for love and intimacy, I am here to help you. Let’s get started!