With 2020 finally behind us, what’s next for this coming year? In 2021, put yourself, your loved ones, your health and whatever makes you happy FIRST. Prioritizing your health and your happiness includes prioritizing: your sexual health.
If this is the first time you’re exploring your sexuality in a deeper way and with more intentionality, you’re certainly not alone. For some of us, it can sometimes feel uncomfortable discussing sexual intimacy because of the many taboos that still exist around sex in our culture.
For individuals and couples seeking help and support with sexual intimacy, Sex coaching can be life changing. And it’s not as daunting as you may think!
Sex Coaching often begins with an initial discovery session in which your coach helps you to determine your Sex, Intimacy and Relationship goals, just as you would with any other type of coaching. Based on emerging needs, intentions and desires, the therapist and client(s) work collaboratively to help them achieve their goals. It’s an evolving process wherein the client learns new skills and builds confidence through somatic (body-based), communication and relational practice exercises.
Here are some of the common areas that a sex coach can help you navigate:
Body Image & Self Love
Sex and intimacy coaching is so much more than just talking about sex. Sex coaching is practical, experiential and empowering. Identifying and addressing negative or unhelpful beliefs around self-esteem and body image can lead to deep healing and transform your relationship with your body. By learning to explore touch and pleasure in new ways clients are empowered to love and appreciate their bodies.
Our brains are malleable. Our conditioned beliefs can be repatterned by creating new neural pathways that enable us to relate to our bodies in a positive, embracing, and loving way. Individualized self-care practices help clients learn to develop their own rituals of self-love and compassion.
Loss of Libido and/or Decreased Arousal
There is so much shame and stigma wrapped up in these topics. Sex therapy is about compassionately reconnecting with your body and your current needs and preferences based on who you are today. A sex coach can help you work through decreased arousal or a loss of libido by discovering what really turns you on and learning to explore your unique erotic template.
Human beings are complex creatures and we don’t all have an “ON/OFF” switch. The process of connecting with our desire and libido is often gradual and responsive. Imagine watering your favorite plant: if you forget to water it, it won’t bloom. It won’t thrive. If you don’t attend to your desire, you won’t either.
Trauma & Healing
When working with trauma, it can take time to transform our relationship with the past, regain self-confidence and reclaim our sexuality. By creating a safe and nuanced space, sex coaches shine a light on how past trauma is currently showing up and affecting your present day sexual experiences. Sex coaching involves learning to comfortably express your needs, desires and to set healthy boundaries towards sexual expression that is authentic to you. Sexual empowerment and sovereignty are your birthright.
First Time Intimacy
Inexperienced lovers or virgins (you guys are awesome, by the way – read my post here about it) can benefit tremendously from sex coaching. If you’re feeling nervous about first-time intimacy, there’s no better way than to lean on a sex coach for support. With expertise and guidance, you’ll grow to be more knowledgeable and comfortable with your own sexuality. You’ll receive the education and practical tools needed to build sexual skills, rapport and confidence.
Erectile Dysfunction or Other Physical Challenges
Each sex coaching client is unique and each client has different therapeutic needs. Sex Coaching often addresses ED and other physical sexual challenges (ED, PE, Vaginismus, Vulvodynia) through body-based practices designed to help clients reconnect with their body. Embodiment gradually shifts you from being “up in your head” to feeling connected to your body and present with your experience of touch, connection and pleasure.
Is Sex Coaching for You?
A great way to “test the waters” is by scheduling a complimentary phone consult or a 75 mins initial intake session. If you decide to move forward with me, here are a few answers to questions you might have:
Are You Talk Based or Experiential (Somatic)?
Both! While traditional talk therapy certainly has its place, it may not always be the most effective choice for sexual challenges and/or concerns. I work with many traditional therapists who refer clients to me for this very reason. Combining talk therapy with Somatic Experiential therapy allows me to work with a body-based approach. I find that this method helps clients assimilate the session content in an embodied way. Sexual education is far more than simply a cognitive process of understanding. It’s about feeling your body and experiencing practices. It’s within this physical space that you’re able to integrate what you’re learning, so you can retain it and explore it.
If you would like to read more about the difference between sex therapy and sex coaching, please click here.
Are You Talk Based or Experiential (Somatic)?
Both! While traditional talk therapy certainly has its place, it may not always be the most effective choice for sexual challenges and/or concerns. I work with many traditional therapists who refer clients to me for this very reason. Combining talk therapy with Somatic Experiential therapy allows me to work with a body-based approach. I find that this method helps clients assimilate the session content in an embodied way. Sexual education is far more than simply a cognitive process of understanding. It’s about feeling your body and experiencing practices. It’s within this physical space that you’re able to integrate what you’re learning, so you can retain it and explore it.
If you would like to read more about the difference between sex therapy and sex coaching, please click here.
Online or In-Person Sessions – Which One is Right for Me?
Due to COVID-19 restrictions, sex & relationship coaching is mainly offered online currently. However therapists have quickly found new and creative ways to adapt traditional in-person therapy so that it is just as effective virtually. Depending on your therapeutic needs, comfort level, schedule and geographic location, you may want to consider which makes the most sense for you.
The benefit of online virtual coaching or telehealth is that it’s very convenient and can be done from the comfort and privacy of your home.
The benefits of in-person sex therapy or sex coaching include being in a neutral safe space without the familiar distractions of home and the possibility of practicing some of the exercises with your coach. These are relational, sometimes touch-based, fully clothed, non-sexual exercises intended to offer a real-time, in-person experience.
I truly hope your year is off to a wonderful start! 2021 is a new beginning and a great time for self-empowerment and betterment.
If you are ready to revolutionize your sexual health, prioritize yourself, and reclaim your sexuality, CLICK HERE to get started and schedule a session!