Featured in the HerNorm Relationship Expert panel. Read below or at HerNorm.
Call it intuition. Call it a sinking feeling in your gut. It starts with an inner knowing that something is just “not quite right.” Truthfully, 9 times out of 10 you are probably right – something really is off. But is infidelity the culprit? Here are a few ways to find out:
Having Sex Less Often
When a partner is stepping out, their sexual attention is focused elsewhere … and sadly not on you. This may show itself in a significant drop of physical intimacy with you.
…But Also Having Sex MORE Often
A partner may overcompensate for their dishonest behaviour by having more sex with you than usual. Notice new tricks and techniques in the bedroom; In short, any significant change in your sex life is something to take note of.
Missing Connection
Intense chemistry naturally fades after the high of the honeymoon phase, but typically this is replaced by deeper emotional vulnerability and connection. We start to share our inner worlds with each other and build long-lasting intimacy. When infidelity is present, the willingness to connect decreases. There’s often less desire and motivation to be genuinely curious about your day or how you’re doing.
Denial, Denial, Denial
If you bring up the topic of cheating and you get a huge overreaction of opposition from your significant other, you may have cause for concern. A guilty partner may gaslight, shift blame on you, become defensive or resort to name calling. As Shakespeare said when “thou dost protest too much …” there is usually something to protest about.
Keep in mind that these signs are not an exact formula that an affair is afoot. Rather, an opportunity to voice your concerns. If you’re being met with dismissal or hostility it’s probably time to reevaluate your relationship boundaries and needs.
If you are experiencing relationship challenges or need help recovering after an affair, please get in contact with me. I’m here to help.