Sex and pregnancy aren’t mutually exclusive, but there are some things to consider!
Sex is generally safe during pregnancy, though you might need to make some adjustments. When you’re pregnant, your body goes through a whole host of physical and hormonal changes, and this can affect how you and your partner have sex. Rest assured, most of these changes are normal aspects of pregnancy and easily worked with.
Hormone fluctuations
During the first trimester, especially, as a woman’s body becomes adjusted to being pregnant, she may experience discomfort, morning sickness, breast tenderness, emotional ups and downs, and shifts in libido. Some women find they are less or more sensitive in certain areas or, due to the hormonal fluctuations, have less natural lubrication (use lube!). Some women feel very stimulated, and some feel little to no sex drive at all. Again, this is all normal, and it’s likely that things will change in the second trimester. Communicate, communicate, communicate!
In the second trimester, there’s more blood flow everywhere, including the genitals, and many women experience more powerful orgasms. There are also the psychological aspects that may increase libido: you’re not trying to conceive, you’re not trying to not get pregnant. Anything goes! The sense of freedom may allow you to go even deeper into the experience.
During the third trimester, especially, is when the most adjustments need to be made. Likely, you’ll need to come up with new positions to accommodate a near-term pregnancy. Pregnant women may produce more discharge or even begin lactating. It is said that orgasms may bring on Braxton-Hicks contractions, or, depending on how close the baby’s due date is, maybe even labor. While there is no medical “proof” of it, many midwives and doctors suggest sex as a method for stimulating labor, as the prostaglandins in ejaculate stimulate the cervix and may induce contractions. Again, these things are normal!
Get in position.
As the baby grows, positions you once loved might not work anymore. Try some different positions like side-lying sex, woman-on-top, or doggie-style with pillows under the belly. If penetrative sex isn’t comfortable at all, try using vibrators, mutual masturbation, oral sex or other forms of intimate connection like massage.
What about the baby?
Baby may move during sex, especially in the second and third trimester. Sex doesn’t generally affect the baby at all, though this may be a new and perhaps odd sensation – but again, it’s normal.
Other precautions
If you’re not in a monogamous relationship, practice safe sex to avoid sexually transmitted diseases, which can be detrimental to everyone, including the baby. Never blow air into the vagina during oral sex, as it has the potential to block a blood vessel (also known as an “air embolism”) and cause serious problems for both mother and baby. If you enjoy anal sex, don’t have vaginal sex afterward unless you use a condom (for anal), as there is the potential of spreading bacteria from the anus.
It’s important to talk to your OBGYN or pregnancy health care provider first, especially if you or your partner have a high-risk pregnancy, are pregnant with multiples, you have had a premature baby or signs of premature labor with this pregnancy, have an incompetent cervix (a cervix that opens too soon during pregnancy), or have placenta previa, where the placenta sits over the cervix. In these instances, sex may not be safe during pregnancy, so it’s important to know.
What happens next?
Pregnancy, birth, and parenthood are incredibly special but often challenging times. New humans, new bodies, new changes, new relationships, and new ways of seeing your partner can mean finding new ways to be intimate. Everything is new during this time and after the birth of your baby, there are even more changes to come. It may take a while for you to adjust to being new parents, to your new schedules, and to the continued physical, hormonal and emotional shifts that come post-partum.
With the right care and attention, pregnancy sex can be profound and a beautiful way to connect with who you are, and who you’re about to become. I frequently work individuals and couples moving through these changes, and I’m here for you. Please reach out if you’re on a new journey to parenthood. It’s a magical time. Congratulations!