Blog
Sex and Marriage: Where’s the Sex? (Part 2)
Last week, I wrote about the all-too-common occurrence of sexless marriage, defined as a marriage (or relationship) in which there are low levels of sexual intimacy, generally less than ten times a year. While sure, there are some well-matched people who are okay with a low level of sex in their partnerships, for many, a sexless marriage is not something they ever expected to find themselves in. For them, it’s a great cause for concern and can places a great deal of stress on the relationship and encourage feelings of loneliness, shame, fear, and even self-hatred.
This week we’ll talk about ways in which to address and work with some of the most common things that can bring about a sexless marriage. Again, please know that this is a frequent reason why couples often seek out my services. If your marriage is sexless, you are not alone. …
Bringing Sexy Back: Reviving a Sexless Marriage (Part 1)
Marriage without sex? Yes, it happens. Sexless marriage is one of the most common reasons couples come to work with me, and if you’re in one, you’re not alone — numerous recent studies from the past few years have shown that at least 15-20% of all marriages in the US are sexless — but the good news is that there are some practical solutions to bringing the sexy back! …
Sexual Agreements and Conversations (Part 2)
Sexual agreements, conversations with our partners about sex, address what we’re open and not open to, and the parameters of the relationship itself. These conversations go beyond agreements and boundaries during a sexual encounter and also address things like how we behave with one another in public and how we behave with other people.
A lot of people expect that these things should just flow naturally, or they feel that if everything’s working in the relationship, these things will just flow naturally – but unfortunately, that’s not true. We might have different expectations about what we want in terms of our sexual relationship(s). …
New Year, new you?
With all that’s happening in the world right now, focusing on ourselves may not feel like the most important thing we can do, but our ability to experience and share pleasure, both non-sexual and sexual, is directly related to the amount of happiness in our lives. Happiness is wonderful in and of itself, and it’s also great fuel for achieving other dreams and goals in our lives! …
Spelling Out the Language of Love
Author and speaker Esther Perel, who speaks nine languages, believes that love is “dynamic and active. Imbued with intention and responsibility. And it is a verb” — and that verbs are generally the first thing we learn when learning a new language. She believes the answers to how we learn to love (and how we develop our own love languages) can be found in seven verbs, and that examining them as adults we can see where our weaknesses lie and what triggers our defense mechanisms, and through this process we can grow in intimacy. …
Reconnecting During the Holiday Season
The holiday season is an invitation for joyous connection, and it’s also a busy time for many of us. When we’re so busy with social engagements, we might actually lose sight of what’s really most important – truly staying connected with ourselves, and with our intimate partners. For some, self-care during this time is even more important. …
Setting Healthy Sexual Boundaries (Part 1)
Our boundaries are going to vary from week to week, day to day, moment to moment. What might have been okay yesterday may not be okay today. It’s all about developing the ability to express what you’re open to and available for in a sexual situation. What you and your body might be in the mood for in that moment. It’s also about noticing what you’re not open to and to know that it’s your right to change your mind! YES, that’s right, you get to change your mind. It’s your body and you get to choose… …
Gratitude Season
No matter how this season is beginning for you, the practices of self-love and gratitude can make all the difference in how we approach and move through this season of celebration. …
The Basics of Power Play
Power play actually exists in every relationship, whether we’re conscious of it or not. Power play here, however, refers to the popular BDSM practice of dominance and submission. Consent is the key aspect of conscious power play and requires advanced levels of communication as well as trust and safety. …
What is Tantric Sex?
While we usually think of, well, sex, when we hear the words “Tantric sex”, there’s a lot more to it! It’s also a practice of communication which places far more focus on deep, present, loving connection and energetic exchange than the actual, physical, penetrative act of sex. Tantric sex practices can be experienced alone or with a partner and they are a profound way of getting more deeply in touch with yourself, with your partner and with your body. …